New Car Buying - 2007

After 12 years, I've decided that it's time to purchase a new vehicle. This could be the latest in a series of stressful decisions that I've made. I think buying a car twelve years ago was MUCH simpler.

First we have the Make / Model decision. Yikes... where did all these choices come from? Next, what color would you like? How about that electric metallic green. SORRY - the model you chose doesn't come in that color. OK, how about blue? Nope - not in that model. ALRIGHT...just tell me what colors it DOES come in. (I'm sure this ruined the salesperson's fun.) Answer - Black, Dark Gray, Silver, and White.

What kind of choice is that!!! Once I chose the color I had to go through the same routine with options! I just want GPS, a rear spoiler and a sun roof. Apparently, they are all in different packages and you can't get there from here!

Well I made a command decision - the car I have will make it another year. That will give me enough time to take a class on "car buying without the frustration". I'm sure there must be a class offered somewhere. I can't be the only one that became unnerved by the experience.

Summer winding down

Well, summer is winding down and with it my self-imposed hiatus. I'll be posting regularly again in September. I've had a very busy summer both at work and home. I'm hoping to get some well needed down time to catch up on the many rants that have plaqued me since June.

My first will be Car Buying 2007 style...what a gigantic pain!

See you in September

Birthday 2007

Well - I almost escaped this year's birthday celebration at work yesterday. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. Someone undetected and flying well below my personal radar, set up and carried off a surprise birthday lunch. I'm still amazed at how all involved were able to keep it from me for a whole week. I'll have to step up my "guard" next year.

It was a fun day and was followed by an equally fun evening with my family.

And now my rant: Who started the tradition that whomever has a birthday must bring in treats for all on that day?! What!!!??? It's MY birthday! Why am I giving YOU a treat. I like the old way, "give me the loot or you get the boot!"

Yeah, I know... as a kid my Mom would have a birthday party for me and invite all my friends. They'd get little goody bags stuffed with penny candy and maybe a .50 plastic decoder ring. But hey - I'd be getting a $15-$20 toy from each kid. Seemed like a good trade off at the time.

So NEXT year my co-workers(Repeat after me): "Happy Birthday, here's a $20 gift card!" "Might I please have a Fireball to suck on?"

Aah, music to my ears.

Father's Day 2007

Phew! I survived another Father's Day without receiving the dreaded "tie" gift. Of course, I didn't receive the million dollar check I had hoped for either.

I wonder why I look at every "special" day as a day to avoid something. Let's take a quick tour:
Easter - avoid candy because if I start eating it...
April 15th - avoid the IRS at all co$t$
Father's Day - avoid the tie and socks gifting
4th of July - avoid a neighbor who's sole purpose is to set off VERY loud explosions after 1am.
Halloween - (see Easter)
Thanksgiving - avoid the green tinged casserole - we don't know what it is but it can't be good.
Christmas - avoid opening any round tin - fruitcake is dangerous to one's health whether you eat it or drop it on your toes.
New Years - avoid parties arranged by friends at the office. If you do go, avoid consumption of large quantities of alcohol. When you drink anyway because its free booze, avoid making a pass at anyone that "looks" pretty. And when you wake up the next morning with a hangover and an extra body in the bed, avoid eye contact. "Pretty" may have turned ugly overnight.

Uh-Oh - here comes my birthday...

Worm Cheese

Just me thinking out loud...

If the early bird gets the worm, does that mean the second mouse gets the cheese?

I need coffee!

Can't sleep - clowns will eat me!

Keypad vs. 10-key

Here's one that has me scratching my head: Why doesn't the keypad on a phone and the 10-key pad on a standard computer keyboard match? One starts with a 1 on the top, the other, with a 7 in the first position.

Seems to me one of the two people involved in the design of these two creature comforts may have been dyslexic. How else do you explain this oddity? I'm thinking the 10-key is the odd man out. I don't know about you, but, most people I know count 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. I don't know anyone who goes 7, 8, 9, 4, etc.

.siht rof gnidne ynnuf a evah neve t'nod I

Cooking The Books

I was sitting in my 32nd meeting of the week when the Project Manager was trying to make a point about how much non-productive meetings cost. He brings up 4 of us as he proceeds to make his point. At $60 an hour for each of these people, you can see how expensive these meetings can be.

WHAT! I make $60 an hour?! Let me do the math... number of dollars x number of work hours in a year = Yearly insult. OK. Now I'll just plug in the numbers... 60 x 2080 = $124,800.

Aaah...helloooooooo... somebody has been skimming my paycheck. I don't come anywhere close to that. If I did, I wouldn't be reusing my coffee filters at home. (grounds included.)

Nope, I'd say the biggest waste at our meetings is the money the project manager's parents paid for his education. The boy can't count!

Dressing Ghetto

My son never ceases to amaze me. The ideas that float around in his head baffle me. Several weeks ago, he and I were going somewhere together and just before we left the house, he asked me if I were going out like "that". (This is usually a line reserved for your significant other.) Anyway - I asked him what was wrong with jeans and a sweat shirt. Not answering my question, he asked if it wouldn't be better to wear a button down shirt w/ t-shirt underneath. HUH? We are going the freakin' Home Depot! Get a life! I did make a move in his direction by changing to a pull-over polo shirt.

Forward to last week... We were going to a fast food joint for a quick bite. Again, the same question directed itself toward me. This time I was dressed in running shorts and a T-shirt. Apparently it didn't meet with Mr. Fashion's approval. When I asked him what was wrong with my outfit he told me my shorts were ghetto! Shorts, ghetto? Good Grief! I asked him if my jeans shorts would be less ghetto enough to go get fast food. An affirmative answer came back at me.

I guess next time I go clothes shopping, I'd better take him along. I wouldn't want my wardrobe to offend him! I believe we've entered the "My parents embarrass me" phase of teendom.

Boy+16=Cars

I believe that formula has been around for many years. So, why does my son have to be different? He's 16, got his learners permit BUT has no interest in getting behind the wheel. I'm thinking, no HOPING, that he is just lazy and figures the driver's license will just automatically show up in the mail. How else do I explain his lack of interest in one of the most important rites of passage into manhood?!

I'm also guessing that since the Mom/Dad Taxi service is still answering his every transportation whim, that he has no outside motivation to get his license. (Gas prices being what they are, perhaps he's smarter than I give him credit for.)

Time for me to pull out the BIG guns. It will go something like this: "Gee, son, too bad you don't have your license yet. When that hot girl you've been looking for shows up in your life, you'll have no way to take her anywhere. Of course, you can always count on Mom or Dad to do the driving..."

Yup, I've pulled out another tried and true formula: Boy + Girl = need for privacy.

Addiction

I must confess to all who'll listen - I am an addict! Yup... I should do the right thing this very moment and check myself into rehab before I get deep enough to never get out. It started innocently enough. I was offered some by a "friend" at work. It was good and before I knew what hit me I had gone back for more, twice!

I've spent a lot of money on this nasty habit and the stuff is hard to come by.

I'm asking for help. Does anyone know where the nearest rehab would be? I've just got to try and kick this habit.

Here's a warning to those that may come after me... stay away from those Hershey Cherry Cordial Creme Kisses! They are EXTREMELY addictive!

Pump This

Enough already. Everyone is complaining about and is amazed at the high cost of fuel. It's called supply and demand folks. If you want prices to go down, use LESS! If you bought a big pick 'em up truck last year and refuse to go any less than 90 on the freeway, you have NO room to complain.

Now I realize that for some of us, it's difficult to slow down to conserve gasoline. I try on my way to work. The response is unanimous... honked horns, tailgating, flashing lights (I'm in the slow lane jerk!), and, of course, dirty looks as they speed by "turtle" car. Heaven forbid I should go 65 in a 70mph zone. Even when I do go 70 there are tons of drivers that pull out and go around me. 85-90 seems to be the norm. Excuse me... you are in a hurry to go where??? Work!? It must be a pretty exciting job that you just can't wait to get there. By the way...nice Hummer. Does it come with it's own gas station?

Now I know what your thinking - wouldn't it be nice if a State Police Officer would see the 90 mph driver and pull him over. It will never happen! They will continue you to zero in on the "5-10 mph over the limit" drivers like you. WHY? Because chasing a vehicle going 90+ mph just isn't good for gas conservation efforts. Get Real!

Easter Sunday 2007

Easter Sunday - the day you see all kinds of people at church that you never see except holidays. You gotta wonder why they bother at all.

Anyway, I'm cool with the April showers bring... da da da, BUT, what is with all this snow? Do you know how hard it is to find Easter Eggs in the backyard when there is snow on the ground? I had to go above and beyond this year. I took a dozen eggs over to the waste management facility and dunked them 3 minutes each. It doesn't make them any easier to find in the snow, until nightfall! Then those puppies glow like the moon.

My only concern now is when the wife makes me an egg salad sandwich for work. There is not enough money...

Happy Easter

Good Grief

I've gotten a few "nasty" grams wondering why I wasn't posting more, as I said I would. Well, to all 3 of you that sent those messages... LIFE happens. So, here is a post to tide you over.

Ranting Roo wants to know: Can a person cry underwater?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Texting?

As I look back over the years of innovation, we have truly seen some remarkable steps forward. Television, fax machines, overnight deliveries, computers, the internet, CDs, DVDs, digital music, and, of course, the personal communication device known as the cell phone.

There is one developement that defies logic... text messaging! Why are so many people so excited about this form of communication? Tapping out your message with two fingers on a mini keypad is counter progress. Would you be so excited if you were told that we were doing away with all keyboards and computers and going back to typewriters and the US mail? I'm guessing you'd complain about going backwards... kinda like anti-innovation.

Kinda like - text messaging!

Water Displacement #40

We've all heard of WD-40. I'm sure every household has a least one can sitting on a shelf somewhere. I was amazed that folks use it for something more than lubricant. Don't act like you've tried some of these. I know you didn't know any more than me. Ready?

It gives floors that just waxed sheen without making it slippery
Restores and cleans blackboards
Removes tomato stains from clothing
Keeps the bathroom mirror from fogging
Removes all traces of duct tape
Spray it on your arms, hands and knees to relieve arthritis pain (OK that's weird)
Keeps pigeons off the balcony - they hate the smell (So do I)

There are plenty more. The one that weirds me out?
It keeps flies off cows!

Flies off cows? Who on earth discovered that one? I'm thinking that guy is hanging out in the barn just a little too much.

Who counts?

Here's a silly thought that popped into my head. Does anyone actually count? I mean like when you buy a roll of paper towels and it says 90, two-ply sheets. Has anyone ever counted the sheets? How about over-the-counter pills? The bottle says 100 pills but has anyone actually opened the bottle and counted them?

Companies could be ripping off Joe Consumer! Just think, if the company that supplied America with the 100 pill bottle, actually put only 99 pills in... One-hundred bottles later, they'd have an extra 100 pills. That would be enough to fill one more bottle! (with 1 pill to spare.)

Makes you wonder, doesn't it.

39 days...

Thirty-nine consecutive days of above average tempertures came to a crashing halt yesterday. The green grass turned white with ice and snow. Winter has finally arrived. My drive to work was filled with unplowed roads and very slow cars.

Well, except for one idiot who just had to be going faster than the rest of us sane people. All we saw was a blur of slammed on brake lights and fishtailing. And then he was gone...

I'll never understand why people like that exist but I'm sure they are the same ones that continually push the "close door" button on the elevator!