Just Super

Super Glue, Future Glue or any one of a dozen names for the sticky stuff lives up to it's name. It sticks the cap of the glue to the tube. If you get a drop on your finger, it will adhere said finger to the very next thing you touch.

You should use the stuff once and throw the remaining tube away. It usually hardens and you can't get the liquid stuff past the blockage. My wife, always wanting to save money, came up with a brilliant plan. She would burrow through the hardened glue with a straight pin, thus being able to use the glue at least a couple of times. It only took a few seconds to realize the error of her ways. Yep - she now had her thumb and forefinger stuck together with a pin in between them. I let her suffer a bit before giving her options. I think we ran through just about all of them before her fingers went their separate ways.

Wow! That glue will stick just about anything together... except two items you really want to stick together!

Truth in Package Images Needed

They suck me in each time. I'm looking for something different to have for lunch. I stroll down the frozen food aisle looking for just the right food to tempt my tastebuds. Let's see..pot pies, 3 cheese lasagna(where's the meat?), burritos and stuffed eggplant.

Suddenly it jumps out at me, PIZZA. Look at that mouth watering picture on the package. Lot's of pepperoni on top and the slice being lifted from the pie has cheese just stretching to hold on. Yummy.

I bring it to work the next day. I'm waiting for lunchtime like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. Finally, I tear open the box, fold it over as instructed and set to microwave for the proper time. Hmmm... doesn't much smell like pizza cooking. Out it comes and I hurry back to my desk to savor the meal I'm about to eat. 5 pepperoni all pushed to the middle of this mini piece of cardboard. Cheese...WHERE? Oh is that this white dusting which has all but evaporated in the microwave? The red coloring must be sauce or a weak stand-in for it.

Attention companies that play with my visual emotions: STOP IT! Take a picture of the end result of the slop in the box and put that on the outside of your packaging. At least then I'll know to avoid it like the plague!

Ravioli?

During my weekly shopping I saw a ravioli container that you just put in the microwave. Since I'm always looking for something different for my lunches, I threw one in the cart.

Today I zapped the little sucker and took my first bite. PTUUPH! OMG! They are allowed to call this ravioil? This is the same stuff we feed our kids... and they LOVE it! I had no clue it was this yucky. I don't want to mention which brand it was, but boy- are -dees bad ravioil. The pasta has no taste, the "meat" filling is brown mush and the sauce is, is, aaaah red. That's about as kind as I can get with this slop.

Protect your kids from 370 calories of pure "blah". Don't serve them this junk.

Suddenly, peanut butter & jelly is sounding real good to me.

That Tears It

I want to know who the person was that thought sealing food in plastic was a great, safe, fresh idea! I can't count the number of times I've run into the "you-can't-open-me" bag of chips or the "hope-you-don't-want-to-eat-this-today" box of cereal. If you pull too hard it usually rips the bag and spills the contents on the floor.

Is this some sinister plot to make us all go quietly insane? Do I need to carry scissors with me wherever I go, on the chance I might run into a sealed container?

They have pop tops on cans of pop and beer. They provide peel back lids on fruit cans and those silly microwave ready soups. Why can't they come up with an easier way to open chip bags and cereal boxes?

That's my rant for today. I have to go sweep the cereal off my kitchen floor.

Resolutions 2006

I'm back and still wanting to rant. Amazing to me. I guess it's that time of year when everyone and his brother feels compelled to make a resolution. Kind of like a contract with yourself. Most people fall way short of their goals but I'll have to give them an "A" for effort. Why do we say that? There's not an "A" in effort. Oh, sorry, that will have to be in another blog down the road.

I'm trying to turn over a new leaf this year... less ranting - more kindness towards others. Time for my resolution(s).

I will try to be a kinder-gentler blogger.
I will try to loose weight. (not really, but just about everyone says it)
I will try to give up smoking. (I had to put an easy one in here - I don't smoke, never have.)
I will try to find the good in everyone. (Oh like I've got time to dig THAT deep!) Guess I blew that one already.
I will NOT write nasty things about my neighboor any longer. Mainly because he found this blog and I don't want to get caught.

Next year I'm gonna do Absolutions. You simply down as many shots of Absolute as you can on New Year's Eve. Make about a dozen resolutions and wake up the next afternoon with no recollection of what you promised or where you are!

Hey, you gotta give me an "A"....Absolutely