Why is it so hard to find stocking stuffers? In most circles I'm considered a good shopper. Yet every year during the holiday season I panic when the wife says, "If you see some stocking stuffers, pick them up."
Right... I'll just drive over to the stocking stuffer outlet and browse the thousands of items they have for sale. Oh don't get me wrong, I give it my best shot. Some stores even label items with a giant sign MAKES A GREAT STOCKING STUFFER. Of course when I look what's under the sign it's usually a pair of socks or gloves or chocolate.
I'm looking for the good stuff. You know the stuff that my parents used to put in my stocking. Little toys, candies & gadgets. Now-a-days even if you find items you like, it will cost you $100 just to fill a stocking!
Two things need to happen before next year. I need an honest to goodness list of great stocking stuffers (not a sales pitch by some toy manufacturer). Then, I need a ONE STOP place to purchase the items I choose from that list.
If someone can't get that going before next Christmas, the stockings may become soot under Santa's boots!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
May I help you?
My answer to the above question is, NO!
I've had it with two particular stores that hire piranha and set them loose as salesmen. One store sells appliances & electronics, while the other sells furniture. I, the customer, walk through the door and find myself surrounded by piranha. I've tried to alter my route in the furniture store as a way to avoid "May I help you?" Unfortunately, they always win. They know all the shortcuts. If you do manage to get out a polite but meaningful "just looking", they back off 10 paces but zero in on your vapor trail and are never out of earshot.
Now, after years of abuse, I've come up with a plan that should throw them enough of a curve to give me time to shop in solitude. Next time I am FORCED to enter that store, I plan on bringing a roll of numbered tickets. (just like they have at the deli section of most busy markets.)
As each salesperson approaches me, I will hand them a ticket and say - "Yes you can help me by waiting to hear your number called. At that time I will need assistance"
I know, I know it's all a big waste of time and energy. Eveyone knows piranha have no hands to hold onto a ticket.
I've had it with two particular stores that hire piranha and set them loose as salesmen. One store sells appliances & electronics, while the other sells furniture. I, the customer, walk through the door and find myself surrounded by piranha. I've tried to alter my route in the furniture store as a way to avoid "May I help you?" Unfortunately, they always win. They know all the shortcuts. If you do manage to get out a polite but meaningful "just looking", they back off 10 paces but zero in on your vapor trail and are never out of earshot.
Now, after years of abuse, I've come up with a plan that should throw them enough of a curve to give me time to shop in solitude. Next time I am FORCED to enter that store, I plan on bringing a roll of numbered tickets. (just like they have at the deli section of most busy markets.)
As each salesperson approaches me, I will hand them a ticket and say - "Yes you can help me by waiting to hear your number called. At that time I will need assistance"
I know, I know it's all a big waste of time and energy. Eveyone knows piranha have no hands to hold onto a ticket.
Monday, December 12, 2005
It puts a spell on me
Normally I stay clear of stationery stores unless it's absolutely necessary for me to go into one. Then, I usually bring backup. Well, since it's Christmas and my wife wants a small bulletin board for her home office, I decided to enter a big chain stationery store. I'm thinking what harm could it do. I'm only looking for one thing. Surely I can zip in and out without too much damage to my wallet.
I bravely entered as an employee tried to disrupt my single train of thought with a "Hello". It won't work. I've tuned out all attempts at steering me down unnecessary aisles. I'm on a mission. There they are... bulletin boards of different shapes, sizes and materials. What is small anyway? Is there such a thing as too small? I opt for a medium size board. (After all, it's small compared to a big one.) Hey, she'll need those push-pins to tack stuff up. I zip over to aisle 3 to grab a package of those. Then, before I knew it, I was knee deep in neat light-up pens, colored index cards and rubber bands. I'm thinking that cool looking Christmas stationery would look good with my yearly family newsletter printed on it. Oh yeah, my printer needs ink.
Bulletin board $19.99. My total bill $98.99 How does that happen? Those kind of stores must put a spell on me.
Great - I forgot to get the push-pins. Here I go again...
I bravely entered as an employee tried to disrupt my single train of thought with a "Hello". It won't work. I've tuned out all attempts at steering me down unnecessary aisles. I'm on a mission. There they are... bulletin boards of different shapes, sizes and materials. What is small anyway? Is there such a thing as too small? I opt for a medium size board. (After all, it's small compared to a big one.) Hey, she'll need those push-pins to tack stuff up. I zip over to aisle 3 to grab a package of those. Then, before I knew it, I was knee deep in neat light-up pens, colored index cards and rubber bands. I'm thinking that cool looking Christmas stationery would look good with my yearly family newsletter printed on it. Oh yeah, my printer needs ink.
Bulletin board $19.99. My total bill $98.99 How does that happen? Those kind of stores must put a spell on me.
Great - I forgot to get the push-pins. Here I go again...
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Mom - Turning In Grave
The latest craze has got to have my mother spinning at 45 rpm. In the continuing trial of America's sanity... Why are women wearing pj's out in public? Young girls are wearing them to school. Latest fashion trend or are we just traveling down the road to ultimate laziness?
"Mom, I stayed up too late last night IMing my friends and downloading iTunes." "I don't have time to get dressed and catch the bus." Mom says "oh - just go as you are."
RIGHT! Like that would ever happen. Parents, do us all a favor, forbid your daughters from hiking off to school in Sponge Bob Square pajamas or worse yet... baby doll nighties. Although that might severely cut into the number of boys skipping school, strike a blow for sanity!
Now that I think of it, there was one craze many years ago that would have really made me looney. If one of my friends had bought into the Moo-Moo fashion parade. You do know how that A-frame of a dress got it's name, don't you? All the women who wore them were as big as cows!
"Mom, I stayed up too late last night IMing my friends and downloading iTunes." "I don't have time to get dressed and catch the bus." Mom says "oh - just go as you are."
RIGHT! Like that would ever happen. Parents, do us all a favor, forbid your daughters from hiking off to school in Sponge Bob Square pajamas or worse yet... baby doll nighties. Although that might severely cut into the number of boys skipping school, strike a blow for sanity!
Now that I think of it, there was one craze many years ago that would have really made me looney. If one of my friends had bought into the Moo-Moo fashion parade. You do know how that A-frame of a dress got it's name, don't you? All the women who wore them were as big as cows!
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Christmas Tree
Well, I see I'm not posting every day. This time of year takes up so much of my time. BUT, tonight I blog!
It was Christmas tree day yesterday. A time when the family climbs into the car and takes off towards one of a thousand Christmas Tree lots to find THE tree.
I dread this day because #1 son and Mom can never quite agree on which tree is THE tree. We arrived at our destination and I was determined to make it a "quickie" if only to preserve what feeling I had left in my cold toes. We dive into the tall green populace and I spot a possible right off the bat. Let's turn it around...NOPE it has a big open spot in the back. We drag down three more rows before I spot it. We do the spin trick... it passed with flying colors. How could we be so lucky this year? All agreed that this was the tree and it only took about 10 minutes. To top it off, the cost was a full $20 less than last year's tree.
Up to the front to have THE tree prepped for a trip home. Lower branches trimmed...check. Fresh cut on the trunk... check. Wrap it in plastic netting... check. We were handed the price sticker to take inside and pay for it, while the nice helper person stood it up in the corner for us. We took the opportunity while inside to pick out a minature tree for my wife's desk at work.
I'm just delighted that all this took a mere half hour of my time. Out we parade ready to grab our tree, stuff it in the trunk and head for home. Oh no! Someone else had picked up our PERFECT tree and took it home thinking it was the one they had picked out.
So - back to the jungle, with much less enthusiasm to try to find another perfect tree. There really is no other perfect tree. We had already found it! So we came home with a less than perfect tree and decorated it with deflated joy.
Next year - ARTIFICIAL! I mean it!
It was Christmas tree day yesterday. A time when the family climbs into the car and takes off towards one of a thousand Christmas Tree lots to find THE tree.
I dread this day because #1 son and Mom can never quite agree on which tree is THE tree. We arrived at our destination and I was determined to make it a "quickie" if only to preserve what feeling I had left in my cold toes. We dive into the tall green populace and I spot a possible right off the bat. Let's turn it around...NOPE it has a big open spot in the back. We drag down three more rows before I spot it. We do the spin trick... it passed with flying colors. How could we be so lucky this year? All agreed that this was the tree and it only took about 10 minutes. To top it off, the cost was a full $20 less than last year's tree.
Up to the front to have THE tree prepped for a trip home. Lower branches trimmed...check. Fresh cut on the trunk... check. Wrap it in plastic netting... check. We were handed the price sticker to take inside and pay for it, while the nice helper person stood it up in the corner for us. We took the opportunity while inside to pick out a minature tree for my wife's desk at work.
I'm just delighted that all this took a mere half hour of my time. Out we parade ready to grab our tree, stuff it in the trunk and head for home. Oh no! Someone else had picked up our PERFECT tree and took it home thinking it was the one they had picked out.
So - back to the jungle, with much less enthusiasm to try to find another perfect tree. There really is no other perfect tree. We had already found it! So we came home with a less than perfect tree and decorated it with deflated joy.
Next year - ARTIFICIAL! I mean it!
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