Unwanted Visitor

Every year at this time an unwanted visitor arrives at my house. I'm talking about the Thanksgiving turkey. Now I'm not against having the bird as part of the holiday meal, I just want to know why he must spend three days taking up room in my refrigerator.

If you want it to thaw, leave it out on the porch. If some wild animal stops by to sniff it, so what. The slow thaw theory (try to say that 5 times fast) just makes for an in-the-way bird. Doesn't my wife understand that valuable beer and snack space is being consumed during this yearly ritual?

Here's the kicker - we go out for Thanksgiving dinner every year! I guess the memory of stuffing ourselves until we want to puke is so strong that we need to repeat the process all weekend. Hence the bird will be cooked Wednesday night, then the carved results will sit taking up room in refrigerator before being thrown out 20 days later. How else can we find room in the refrigerator for our Christmas guest, Mr. Ham.